It makes you wonder....

On a beautiful day today I am thinking about how I have gotten to where I am right now. And I wonder... Who would I be without the people in my life that have pushed me and supported me? Who would I be if Margie hadn't come into my life? How different would things have been if my dad hadn't died and been in my life? What would it be like to have siblings? All of these things are running through my head and I wonder.

I can't fully imagine things that I have never had. I can try and try but I will never know. I will always wonder about those things. But right at this moment I am thinking about were would I be if Margie hadn't come into my life. She was the biggest and brightest star in my life. She started my life. Now I can imagine what my life would have been without her and I don't like where I would have been without her.

One person and one family changed me and who I was. Well, I guess they really didn't change me. They helped me grow into the person I have always been but was hiding. I was afraid to let anyone see me but my mom. But they changed that. I've always thought of myself as a kind person, and because of their help I am stronger than I ever thought possible.

Today is a beautiful day and I'm thinking about how Margie and I would sit outside on our patio at your first apartment and enjoy the beautiful weather. Granted it was too cold for her and I had her bundled in a million blankets but I still remember how much she enjoyed it. On a day like today I feel like she is really watching me, and I can't help but think about her and wonder where I would be without her. I'm glad that I don't have to know.

Here I am today with a smile on my face and joy and happiness running through my veins. There is a sadness in me too because I miss her more than words can say. However, that sadness is there because I loved her so much and I always will.

I wouldn't change one thing in my life at this moment. Everything that has happened to me has made me who I am. All the good and bad things have helped define me. All the people who believed in me when I didn't always believe in myself. I do wonder what my life would have been like with my dad and things like that but I am happy with who I am. I am happy where I am at in my life. I'm overjoyed with what I have learned from Margie and her family. I am happy and I thank God and everyone in my life for touching me and helping me. To all my family and friends, I love you all so much and thank you for making me who I am today and making me so happy.